Marriage is hard work.
Hard Work is… well, hard work. We tend to work hard at our jobs, hobbies, physical fitness…you get the point! In order to experience the marriage we long for, we have to bring our “A” game just like we do in other areas of our lives.
Every marriage can increase in love.
The Wedding Day doesn’t have to be the pinnacle in the couple’s relationship. As a matter of fact, it shouldn’t be the peak in their love for one another. We love to testify that we’re more in love today (28 years following our Wedding Day) than the day we got married. No matter the condition of one’s marriage, there’s always hope for things to improve.
Healthy hearts produce healthy marriages.
The healthier a person is the healthier a marriage is and will be. As each spouse pursues becoming healthy, the marriage will benefit.There are specific actions a person can take to create health, like prayer, journaling, reading the Bible and being around other healthy people…to name a few.
Our 7 Building Blocks
Settle Difficult Decisions Early
John Maxwell says that the most successful people are those who settle difficult decisions early and then manage those decisions. In our HFM workshops we’ve identified some “difficult decisions.”
It’s so easy to stuff deep down in our hearts wounds, offenses, rejection, and disappointment. The most important thing we can do is take care of our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). When we stuff we begin to fill up our hearts, aka: Gunny Sacking.
Healthy individuals as well as couples are proactive in establishing boundaries between them and choices that bring harm to them and their marriage.
This is a challenge for all couples. Conflict is a part of every marriage and how you handle it will greatly determine the health of your marriage. Everyone deals with conflict, but not everyone knows how to resolve conflict.
Deposits and Withdrawals
In financial terms the goal is to get in the black, to make more deposits than withdrawals. Some people are wealthy, way in the black. Some individuals are paupers, way in debt… poor. HFM workshops help couples identify what a “deposit” and “withdrawal” looks like for one’s own heart as well as marriage.
When couples do the hard work of “resolving conflict”, “communication”, making more deposits than withdrawals…you get the point, the scene is set for wonderful, fulfilling sexual intimacy.
It’s quite important to forgive as the offenses occur in one’s marriage. We call it “keeping short accounts”. In other words, not letting a day come to an end without seeking forgiveness and/or extending forgiveness. By doing this, couples experience increased love and unity when “forgiveness” becomes lifestyle in marriage.